sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
