hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
