All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
