Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
