sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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