How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
