your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize