Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
