I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
