You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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