apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
