Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
