Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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