And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
