stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
