Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
