rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
