if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
