Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
