honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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