apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
