We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
