Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
