i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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