Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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