So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
