That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
