So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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