she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
