Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
