But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize