i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize