Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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