Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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