road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
