What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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