i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
