YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
