it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize