he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize