its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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