If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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