Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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