either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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