My Higher Power is John Stamos
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
