I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
