No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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