please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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