Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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