Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
