we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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