this just has baby written all over it
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
