It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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