Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
