My nipple is on Facebook.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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