U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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