Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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